“Dude, why did you never tell me?”
Ash looked at the message in his vision and frowned. What the hell was Dan on about? He was about to reply when another message popped up, this one from Carly, his last girlfriend.
“Freak. I am totally getting myself tested.”
Screw this. He hit dial on Dan’s profile and watched the world slide past the tube windows while he waited for his best friend to pick up.
“You beast!” Dan answered, straight off the bat. “You have got to show me any cool powers you’ve got. Can you mind read? Do you anal probe? Is that why you always slept over? Did you anal probe me?”
The questions came thick and fast and Ash had to switch to sub-vocals before replying. He didn’t want this particular conversation being overhead by every commuter around him.
“Dan, slow down. What’s going on?”
“Instabooker just launched their FacePal thing. It just tags all your photos. Remember that night in Rome? Shit, I’d forgotten it, but there we are, in some random Slovak girls selfie.” Dan had a tendency to ramble. “But shit, yeah, you. You’re f-ing green man! It says you’re an alien! You’re the only one on my wall, but Morris said he’s seen two more.”
“I’m a what?”
“But, what, how? When? Who knows?”
“Ergh, only like everyone.”
Ash could hear the cheesy grin plastered across Dan’s face. Everything went through IB. Friends and family, CVs. Even his credit card was linked to his IB account. Oh god.
“But it’s not true,” he protested, after Dan had finished rattling off a list of planets he wanted to visit first. “I’m not an alien. You know me! We’ve been friends since we were little kids.”
“Maybe they snatched your body? You know, like from that flat-film?”
“Dan, have you listened to yourself?”
“Kind of hard to do that when I’m talking in my head.”
Ash sighed. Dan could really get on his nerves, but normally because what he said made sense. But this?
“Anyway, you want to go to the mall? I got paid yesterday, last day of the month an’ all, so I wanna try that new sim. You know, the one with the… actress.”
“Christ Dan, I’m a little preoccupied with the world thinking I’m a… Wait. What did you say?”
“It’s the sim Jay mentioned. You get to rescue the princess and then…”
“No, not that. It was payday. Which means today’s the first. It’s the first of April. Goddam geeks and their April Fool’s Day!”
Prompt originally posted by Chewonchewbacca on reddit and received 3 upvotes.