“Goddamit Ryan,” Jerry said.
He fished his finger out of his cup of tea, along with the now soggy bourbon. His index finger had felt a little off all day. Technically his index finger had come off a long time ago, back when health and safety meant not sticking your dangly bits between metal jaws.
Ryan for his part found it hilarious. The others in the room just shook their head. Ryan had at one time or another pranked all of them.
“You gotta stop sleeping at work,” he said between breaths. “You’re just too easy man.”
“Next time I’ll… next time,” Jerry muttered as he left the break room, taking half the pack of biscuits with him.
The loos were Ryan’s alone time. Just him, the latest page 3, and a long break from the assembly line. It wasn’t real, but it was the thought that counts. He heard the door to the bathroom swing open and cursed. Then the door opened again. More footsteps.
“You all eat Matt’s wifes leftover stew?” Ryan joked to the back of the toilet door.
Shuffling. Toilet seats hitting bowls. What were they doing? “Now,” a voice said. Two pairs of arms reached over the top of the low plywood wall, grabbing Ryan before he could stand.
The door burst open and Ryan found himself caught with his pants down. Literally.
“Eenine, meenie, miny, mo,” Jerry said, tapping on the collar around Ryan’s neck. With a gurgle, the seal came apart and Jerry carefully lifted Ryan’s head from his cybernetic body.
“Put me the fuck down,” Ryan shouted. Or at least tried. Without a windpipe, he was on emergency blood-oxygenation from the collar’s reserves.
The bag was stifling, bounced around like a sack of potatoes, but Ryan refused to give in. Until he was reseated again and took stock of his new body.
“Ha ha. Very funny,” he said. “Now give me back my rig.”
“Yeah, about that,” Jerry said. “We put it in a taxi back to it’s home address. You really should have updated your registration when you moved out of your parents.”
“Hell no,” Ryan said.
“Oh yeah,” Jerry and everyone else said.
Ryan looked down at the breasts peeking out from beneath the thin coveralls and swore he’d get them all back for this.
Prompt originally posted by PM_ME_AL on reddit and received 9 upvotes.